I don’t know about you, but I have had periods of time in my life that I feel as though I am simply surviving. Like the motions I run through every day are just fabricated from muscle memory and are a facade for the place where my heart truly dwells. It’s in these times that the world feels the biggest; like a canvas of the sea drafted from turbulent waves and hidden perils, all painted a pleasing hue to hide its true nature.
And its only in times of peace that I can look back and pinpoint those moments when I was simply treading water. And I’m shocked to say that even as a nasty under current of grief swells below the surface, threatening to pull me under at any point in time, right now, I feel peace. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that serenity comes from being right where the Lord wants me.
So many times, our human nature gets the best of us and we give into persistent emotions like that of impatience. We find ourselves fighting against the current, thrashing back towards the shore, when all the while God is calling us into the waves. It’s terrifying to not know exactly what lies ahead, and it’s easy to want to stay in our comfort zone, with the water at a safe level. We plant ourselves on the things that we are sure of, and yearn for the predictable to find its ways to our feet, like a seashell washing up on shore. But just as anyone who has ever struggled against the current knows, the more you fight it, the more challenging it becomes to keep your head above water. Sometimes the best decision, is to simply give into the current and wait for the stillness that follows. For it is in that stillness, that we find our opportunity.
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:24-28
If you google the definition of treading water, it will tell you that it is a basic technique, a survival skill at best. But what it also tells us is that treading water is a skill that is most often times used before one learns to swim. I can remember moments in my life when I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, and I pursued the desires of my heart that I thought I needed. I thrashed towards them like they were a prize island situated just under the horizon. But as I expelled all of my energy trying to move towards some fleeting goal, I fought against waves that engulfed me, trials and tribulations that set me back around every corner. At first, they fueled my drive, propelling me forward each time I was pulled back, the energy of the challenge filling my lungs. But after fighting, and thrashing for so long, I was just exhausted. And defeated. It was only then, when I was at a true loss for what to do next, that I eventually looked up and realized that all the while, I had simply been spinning in circles. That the progress I thought I had been making was just a thinly veneered shade of confusion.
You see, all of us are guilty of setting aside our desire to seek God’s will for our lives to pursue something we thought we needed, or something the world has convinced us that it’s time for us to have. We have these mile markers we feel like we have to meet, or these earthly things we are convinced we have to have. And all the while that we are spinning in circles, treading water, God is patiently waiting for us to stop, take a breath, and look up. It’s hard, especially when you have a picture in your mind of what you think your heart desires. It’s hard, especially when you have people all around you telling you what you should be aiming for. It’s hard. But maybe, maybe it’s just simply exhausting because we are wasting our efforts on a basic skill like treading water, instead of focusing our energy on a more efficient way to get where we need to be. Maybe we just need to learn to swim.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
His good, pleasing and perfect will. There is no reason to be scared of the unknown, or frightened by the thought of simply drifting out to sea, because the Lord and Savior is your guiding light. If you are fighting so hard for something that just seems impossible, maybe its time to stop and look up.
Is what you are fighting for the will of your Lord and Savior, or a desire planted in your heart that falls short of the glory of God?
God doesn’t expect us to read his mind, nor did he create us to have the omniscience that he beholds. He calls for us to turn to him, to seek him and his perfect will. And sometimes that even means being completely still. Talk about terrifying. There is a storm brewing in your heart, the waves are tossing you around like a rag doll, but you’re supposed to just remain still? Sometimes that is exactly what God calls us to do, to be still and come to him in prayer and petition for his guidance in all walks of life. But the stillness doesn’t mean a deafening silence, or loneliness, it means clinging to God and waiting for him to show you your next move.
So how do you pass the time in that stillness? You swallow up his word with every fiber of your being. You read and labor over the love letter he has provided to us like a map to the treasures of your heart. You pray without ceasing for patience, and faith, and you trust in him to show you the way. And then you simply float, face up, riding every wave that comes your way. Because hidden somewhere in the folds of those whitecaps, there lies an opportunity that can prepare you for your future in the Lord’s embrace. With every wave that washes over you, one is bound to take your breath away and change your life.
God, I come to you know discouraged and defeated. I feel as though I am treading water in my pursuit of _______________________ and my heart is hurting. Help me to turn to you, to give you my desires. My prayer is that you would exchange those for your will for my life. Help me to seek your will in all that I do, and to be patient, for your it is in your time that you will reveal yourself. God, thank you for carrying me when the waves get rough, cradle me now as I wait for your call. Shed light upon whatever path you would have me travel, and give me strength to be the child you call me to be.