Choose Happiness

Our lives are like scrapbooks, memories frozen in time on pages preserved in our hearts and minds. With every breath, every step, and the passing of time, those pages turn capturing the laughter, the tears, the joy, the heartbreak, the pride and the disappoint of days gone by. Sometimes I envision it something like a dream catcher, analyzing our thoughts, reading our emotions and casting its net to gather up all the shreds of our existence to file away only to be called upon with a familiar smell, feeling, or desire.

I treasure those pages, perhaps now more than ever, as they bond me closer to the pieces of my heart that belong to those I’ve lost. But what it also does is help me become keen to those moments as they happen; my senses acute to a touch or a feeling I’m bound to treasure forever. It’s incredible to me how time can sometimes stand still when you’re caught up in a moment, how you feel like you’re surrounded by a blur of emotion as you narrow in on a memory in the making. It does my heart good to slow down and take in the aroma of a sweet gesture, the twinkle of a bright eye, or the ring of laughter. Especially amidst a world that seems to challenge any brightness that exist, threatening to extinguish it, or worse, paint it gray.

As I call upon my pages at times, I am often speechless at the caliber of memories and happiness they hold. Sure, there have been tears, fears, and struggles along the way. But the pure joy and innocence that roll off the pages remind me of how truly blessed I am. I think it’s easy sometimes to get lost in ourselves, to focus on the hurt and the pain. To revel in the disappointment and loss. But it takes effort to really stop and allow the gratitude to creep in. Perhaps it’s because when we welcome it into our hearts, we compare those sweet moments of light to the multitude of darkness we face and it stings just a little more to see the darkness for what it truly is, a valley.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21

But what Matthew tells us is that where our treasure is, there are heart will also be. And while this verse is most often associated with the lesson of serving two masters, today my heart applied it in a different way. Today, I found it as a message to not dwell in the sadness, to not allow yourself to bed down in the trenches. But where your focus and attention lie, that is where your heart will find rest. So if you are experiencing loss, if you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, if stress and worry is trapping you, if that is where you let your mind wander, it is there where your life song will be.

I have so many people around me experiencing things that break my heart. Every day I am faced with a story, or a bit of news that twists my heart strings threatening to disengage them completely. And while my heart aches for them, my mind churns with how to fix it, how to make it better. And naturally so, I’m a solver. I don’t always say the best things to comfort people, I don’t always give great advice. And I mourn in the least desirable ways. But where I find refuge is solving problems. Fixing worry, relieving stress. I run on order, to-do lists, and small successes.

So as I racked my brain for a way to bring peace to those I love that hurt, this verse laid on my heart. It’s always been a favorite but today I saw it in a new form. I saw it as an invitation to extend to those I love, a challenge to search your heart and it’s landing place. I saw it as a a chance to encourage those around me to find the strength to heal inside themselves. For as the verse says to us, what you treasure your heart will take up.

My prayer today is that for each of you hurting, for each of you who feel the darkness pressing in on all sides, that you choose to plant your flag in your happiness. It’s true that days are dark, but hidden in those pages of our scrapbook are good memories, happy memories that can carry us through the darkness. And all though they may be long gone, or seem like another lifetime ago, they can act as a bridge to carry us over troubled waters. And for every hard time we go through, there is a sweet moment waiting for us around the corner. It may be small, and you may be hard pressed to see it, but it’s there.

Our Savior promises us that we will experience nothing that we cannot handle. And just as the wonder that I wish for to heal my heart, I know that what we need to truly heal is found within us, we need only to call upon it. Take advantage of a holiday that focuses of thanks and gratitude and whisper a prayer of thanks to him for the beautiful life you’ve lived. Open your heart to your scrapbook and let the pages flood you with the joy you deserve this thanksgiving. May God grant you peace to embrace today, and every day.

Advertisements

Peace in Prayer and Petition.

It’s the whispers in the wind that bring me the most comfort these days; those otherwise fleeting notions we often overlook. The simple gestures that seem to have fallen stale in this world. My heart and senses have been finely tuned into opportunities of missed chances and moments taken for granted, perhaps because “life is short” has rang all too true in the months past. So it seems only fitting that the verse that spoke to me this week is nestled somewhere in 1 Peter, buried beneath the weight of Christian suffrage, and snug in a letter penned by Peter to the leaders of the church.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

It’s easy to worry. If I have learned anything in the past year, its that worrying, as knee-jerk of a reaction as it is, can’t add a single hour to your life, just as Jesus tells us in Luke. And yet we often find ourselves trapped in this bog of worry that dictates our days. It sinks into our bones and makes our limbs feel heavy as we wade through our daily motions. It stifles our happiness and makes us second guess every step we take. And in a world that is sometimes full of darkness and anguish, it may seem all too necessary for our well-being as we fight against those Earthly troubles that exist.

Worry may seem like a simple task, one that we have no choice but to welcome into our daily lives. You may feel like it’s your weight to carry and although you wish you could just brush it off, it sticks and there is nothing you can do about it. But you’re wrong. While it may seem simple, worry breeds disobedience to God. It is a human emotion that can lead us to question God, asking why things happen or why he hasn’t taken our pain and stress away. While worry may seem like a part of our instinct as humans, it is an emotion of betrayal to God, the Lord and Savior who sent his Son to die on a cross for our sins and shortcomings. He sees it as a choice we make in failing to trust him and his word. And when you open the door to allowing worry to rule your days, you open yourself up a life plagued by negativity, misery, pain, and turmoil.

Does your worry outweigh your faith?

God knows of our shortcomings, and loves us in spite of our human nature to sin and turn away from him. And while we can all expect to worry in our lives, what we can’t expect is to put more energy into worrying and questioning God’s plan for us and expect him to be ok with it. Think about your most recent day; how many times did you worry, or find yourself anxious about the unknown? Did you worry about a sick friend, or stress about paying your bills? Those are natural reactions to our lives, but how many times did you truly worry about something? Now, add up how many times you went to the Lord in prayer for these things. How many times did you stop what you were doing and thank God for another beautiful day, and the chance to breathe life? If your worry outweighs your faith, if you’re anxious more than you are in prayer, it’s not just a knee-jerk reaction anymore; worry and anxiety have become a part of you.

Each time we let worry and anxiety stop us from doing something, or let the fear of the unknown hold us back, we are telling God that we know better than him what shape our lives should take. We are letting worldly fears trick us out of a lifetime of God’s will into a state of constant chaos with no end pointing up. And we are telling the Creator of Heaven and Earth that although we love him, we are not quite sure that he has things under control. Imagine, standing before our Lord and Savior and telling the Alpha and the Omega “I do love you, I am just not sure that you can handle what I am facing today God.” You don’t have to tell him, because your worry speaks louder than words to him.

But the solution to this is not to jump into everything with both eyes shut, wildly abandoning our angst, and throwing ourselves into the wind. No, the solution comes in prayer and petition to God. Worry used to rule my life. I am a control freak to the nth degree and I have completely come to terms with that. Sure, I let it affect my daily life sometimes, and there was a time when I let it come between my me and my Savior. I let my angst for my life turning out how I thought it should turn out, trump what I had been taught from a young age; that if you seek God’s guidance, you will find him. The expanse between me and my Savior left me angry, miserable, and searching for answers where I would never find them. But it also taught me perhaps the greatest lesson I have ever learned; life without the burden of worry is possible if you asked for it. I remember the point when I had been beat down by worry to the point that I found myself on my knees beside my bed. I remember tears streaming down my face as I asked God to take this burden from me, to teach me to trust in him. I remember begging for relief from my anxiety and for the chains holding me to this crippling emotion to be break free. I also remember standing up from that prayer and feeling lighter, feeling as though God was breathing new life into me as I blinked away the bog and saw clearly that he was cradling me in his hands.

Since then, my prayer has been for everyone I know and love to feel the relief I have felt since that very day. I pray that I can testify to what putting your absolute faith into God can feel like, even when your earthly senses are screaming for answers. Is it always easy? Not a chance. In fact, there are days I still feel like I am sinking. There have been moments in the past few weeks as my world shifted under my feet that I was convinced I would get swallowed up in worry. But my defense has always been my love for Christ. Every single time I feel myself worrying, I stop, and I start praying. I pray for him to take the anxiety away, I pray for his resolution to the problem I was dwelling on, I pray that his will be done in every facet my life, and I pray that he continues to help me shove away the worry as I reach for his hand.

It’s not a fail proof plan, and you will relapse into a world of worry if you are struggling to climb out of it. You will try and stumble many times. But if you seek him, if you knock, he will open the door to a life that you never knew could exist and a happiness in our Lord and Savior that surpasses all earthly pleasures. Days will be hard, but the love of God will always be there and you can lay your head to rest at night knowing that our sweet, sweet Savior has your life in his hands and there is no place you should rather it be.